There are two major forces in this world: love and bread. There is often a juxtaposition between doing what you love and putting bread on the table. However, they need to balance correctly. Too much “doing what you love” and you may not have enough money. Too much focusing on putting bread on the table leads to poor performance and an unhappy life.
I often feel as if these two forces are fighting in my life. I see this amazing future and I am reaching for it. On the other side of the coin, my feet are mired in the responsibilities of the day. It feels as if I am slightly broken as I haven’t been able to write any fiction for over a year. I’ve had ideas and the process has produced a lot of potential material. However, I’ve put building my future on hold to instead… build my future. I am so afraid of being ripped away from what I love that I haven’t acknowledged the need for a long time. I need to learn to fly, land, and live on earth. To fly with my desires for a regular time, then get back to putting bread on the table.
I see that this is the only way to effectively create a sustaining life. The world is full of stress and arrogant people. I don’t want to be either of those things. I just want to wake up, suck in some breath, and appreciate what I see when I open my eyes. I hope to one day find that balance; between dreaming and responsibility.